How to Crew a VC10 from 10 Sqn
Gan Island Post 16th September 1972

Step 1 Approach the aircraft with a reckless devil-may-care attitude, especially at night as this creates a
big impression with bystanders. Try not to trip over the air and electrical lines as this does not create a
big impression with bystanders.
Step 2 Ask the crew chief what day it is and mark it down in grease pencil on the doorway. Then ask
what time it is and mark that down also. Stow your pencil in a convenient place for future use. (Note: just
inside the intake duct is the most convenient, however we seem to have been losing a great many pencils this way).
Step 3 Pre-Flt. Conduct your pre-flight in a rapid but deliberate manner and be sure to kick vigorously at the
tyres for serviceability. When you come to a complicated part of the aircraft, like a speed brake or tail fin,
stare at it seriously for several seconds before going on. This creates a big impression with the crew chief.
Avoid shaking your head or clucking your tongue as this bothers the crew chief and gives him ulcers (and short hair).
Step 4 When you have finished the preflight check to see that A/F' corresponds with itinerary then proceed to
correct A/c and repeat steps 1 through 3.
Step 5 To enter the aircraft approach from the left side and leap lightly (without looking) onto the steps and run up
to the aircraft.
Step 6 Pick yourself up off the ground and carefully push the steps up to the aircraft and start again. (Note: make
sure the door is open) Try to control that tense feeling in your guts as you climb, above all DON'T LOOK DOWN.
(This is the most difficult portion of the flight and must be done with precision) Enter the cockpit in any manner you
choose except that if at all possible you should avoid entering feet fist and backwards.
Step 7 This is the disentangling step in which the pilot endeavours to find which seat is his and to sort out the
switches, dials,5, fuses (7 amp and 3 amp) radio leads, straps, headgear, inflated life rafts/flot cots, gum wrappers,
old issues of Playboy and any other loose items he finds.
Step 8 Next check stick and throttle positions If the stick is in your right hand and the throttle in your left you' re in the
cabin backwards. Don' t panic, smile at the pax and crew, wave to the tower and ground crew and bystanders and
slowly rotate your body 180 degrees. Now arrange all switches, levers and buttons in the cabin in an eye catching and
pleasing manner and prepare to start the engines. (IF THEY'RE INSTALLED)
Step 9 Upon starting the engines, advance the throttles smartly to military power and standby for the crew chief' s signals.
When he begins waving at you resist the temptation to wave back. Rapidly rearrange the position of all the switches,
levers and buttons until the right combination is found whereupon the crew chief will finally stop waving at you.
Step 10 When the signal is given to taxi, reverse engines and back slowly up, then push the throttles forward to max
power and roll smoothly over the chocks. Return the throttles to min power and try to avoid further use of max power
on the pan as this irritates the crew chiefs.
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