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A Letter called "M.C.U. Cannon."
Gan Island Post 13th May 1972
One whole week after we at MCU had obtained our cannon, you issued a belated sort of challenge for odd bods
to remove said encumbrances from the foreshore in order to facilitate the daily meanderings of your good self and
other elderly KOS personnel. Subsequently, a party from Hittadu and some DOE chaps recovered two more
and MCU took one to Hitaddu. Generous to a fault, I hear and acknowledge your plaudits for our efforts.
One big carrot dangled before the faces of bods destined to perform the onerous chore of recovering and
refurbishing the discarded arms of World War II, was the promise that brass plaques, engraved with the names
of those who did the deed, would be affixed, (gratis) to the gun of their choice for posterity to marvel at. Posterity
on Gan can be accurately described, by another word 'moonies'.
Since we at MCU had already decided that our gun was to be an integra1 part of the tasteful theme of our
Christmas bar, brass plaques were a minor consideration and therefore, we shed no tears when we remained
p1aqueless. However, time ticked on (English for tempus fugit) and the sand bags of our gun emplacement began
to wither and die in the merciless sun. Great rents appeared and authority began to look askance at the symbol of
MCU supremacy. The problem resolved itself one day when someone said it all with tact, diplomacy, and a deep
sense of understanding, "What', he said, "Shall we do with that bloody great eight and a half ton gun"? Fortunately,
sheer admiration held us all speechless.
The seething cou1dron of activity, which you innocents call MCU, heaved and. Jerked, groaned and strained as
massive intellects performed convolutions of unparalleled ferocity. Ideas were born, examined and rejected. Gan
auctions were considered as an outlet but discarded on past record. They cant even put Aldo (GIP`s editor-author)
up for Sale! What to do? Then of course came inspiration! What can one do with any overweight, outmoded,
cast-off, totally useless, gent1y corroded object? Offer it free, to the Station Commander. How could he refuse?
He offered us all a pay rise but we felt duty-bound to refuse any such gratuity unless all the rest of you could share our
good fortune. As you know, we have all had a little lucre lustre added to our lives and we of the MCU realize that
all other Gannites will want to pay us back in some easy monetary manner. To this end, a large money box will be
screwed to the MCU crew- room door and p1ease feel free to push all donations through the handy slot.
The deal was closed and the DOE again jumped on the bandwagon ~ their gun was offered to the boss too. Thus
can it truly be said that the Good Shepherd (Gan's C.O. - author) has indeed a prize pair. I must point out at
this stage that the DOE offering is vastly inferior to the splendid beast tendered by the MCU. It is shorter, more
corroded and, has lumps out of it. This stunted object was accepted however and we raised no objection when
told the two cannon would be rendered black and mounted on twin concrete bases outside SHQ. We even hoped
this might cement some good relations. It was 7also our black stuff (technical details trip from my pen) which the
DOE used to paint the erstwhile defenders of the Atoll.
Again we heard trite murmurs of brass plaques to be put near the guns. These would inform all and sundry who
gave who what. We just thought, "How nice!" or even, "Quaint" we just never dreamed that THEY, that grey faceless
horde of incompetent twits, who can always get it wrong, could ever put the DOE plaque adjacent to OUR guns and
put OUR plaque next to that jaded dildo of the armament, accepted in a weak moment from the The Hairy Ones!
We, the MCU, ask only that this blunder, this travesty of justice, this catastrophe be rectified rapidly. With all dispatch.
It's a 1ong way back to that beach! One final moan - that bloody idiotic sign indicating that SHQ lurks somewhere in
the leafy background has the temerity to partly obscure the full g1ory of OUR GUN. It would be appreciated if this
could be moved slightly.
Joe Bradley MCU
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